6 + 3 = 9
but so does 5 + 4.
The way you do things isn’t always the only way to do them.
Respect other people’s way of thinking.
All our lives we’ve heard about self-confidence. We may wonder, “Do I have it?” “Where can I get some?” Self-confidence, contrary to popular belief, is not a thing that you are either born with or you’re out of luck. It can and should be developed. Self-confidence is not necessarily sprinkled into all facets of a person, either. A well to do self-confident business man or woman may struggle with public speaking. A top notch performer may struggle with anxiety before going on stage. We all have our unique talents and virtues. What we need to do is take stock of them so that we can reinforce our sense of self-worth and carry it over into those areas we are less sure of in our lives.
I want you to take the time to remember a time when someone told you, you couldn’t accomplish something – and you proved them wrong.
Why do we fill ourselves with doubt? What will it take for us to realize how wonderful, how special and how blessed we are? We are human beings, which mean we are equipped with everything we need to master this thing called life. We are not a human becoming or a human could be. We are being now all that we are born capable of being. Why are we acting like there is something else we need? Isn’t life enough?
Why is it we can forgive and excuse the mishaps and errors of others, but have so little compassion for ourselves? Do we YELL at children when they fall down and bust their lips or bump their heads? No. Do we knock the block off our guest when they break a glass or clog up our toilet? No. Do we stomp out our gardens when the flowers or veggies don’t grow? No. Somehow we forget that we are learning and growing, and that we will fall down and sometimes make a mess. One of my favorite gospel singing duos Mary Mary has a song titled ‘Dirt’ and the song states that we all need a little dirt to grow. Think of all the beautiful flowers and trees and what’s used to help make them flourish, it is dirt. I can remember as a kid eating one of my favorite grape Now-and-Later candies and it would fall to the ground. I would pick that sucker up and say “God made dirt and dirt don’t hurt” and pop that sucker right back in my mouth. You may say Yeww! But I am sure you’ve done the same thing when you were young. The point is we all need a little dirt to grow. Dirt being that thing you may have done in your past that you are not too proud of, yet you continue to beat yourself up about it instead of forgiving yourself. You may not always know what to do. It’s okay! You may not always be able to find the right words at the moment you need them. It’s okay! You may swear you won’t and then do it anyway. It really is okay! It’s okay if you do, or say, or forget to do or say the ‘right’ thing at the ‘right’ time. The challenge is not to go around beating yourself up about it. It is okay.
Speak Encouraging Words To Yourself
Liz Stellar is recent divorced mother of five well-mannered children ranging from the ages of fourteen to four. She works as a manager for a lumber company, which she has worked for the past eighteen years. She drives a midsize SUV and lives in a nice suburban neighbor. Yet, whenever someone asks Liz how she is doing she is quick to say “I’m just trying to make it!” Many of us approach life like Liz from a perspective of lack. We try to move forward on the basis of what we cannot do; truly believing we can build upon this type of foundation. No matter how hard we try, there is always something we cannot do because we believe we do not have what we need to build. We think the problem is the conditions in which we live, the situations in which we find ourselves, or the people involved in the situation or circumstances. We haven’t got a clue the words we speak define our problems and re-create our reality! Haven’t you heard there is power in the tongue?
Let today be the day you start and take some time to listen to what you say over the course of a week. When you hear yourself saying, “I’m struggling to get by!” “It’s so hard out here!” remind yourself that words become your conditions. Situations may be dark or gloomy, but you can always speak about the good you find in them. Conditions in your life might be challenging and difficult, but you have the ability to speak encouraging words to yourself. People may treat you unfairly, unjustly, or in the most unloving ways, but you reserve the right to counteract people with words. You ’re doing just fine! You keep getting better day by day! This is not as bad as it seems! You got this! I know you can! These are just a few of the valuable things you can tell yourself to move beyond the confines of any lack.
On your quest to do better, you will come against obstacles. The obstacles in your path are there to make you stronger. Trying to rebuild your life is hard work, and you will need muscles. Obstacles build muscles-big strong muscles which you can flex.
On the path to empowering yourself you are going to be challenged. Challenges make you quick on your feet. They teach you how to bob and weave. As you move into your power you’re going to make people nervous. They are going to challenge any ideas you have, the way you approach things and the new you that is emerging. Challenges make you think and rethink what you are doing. Thinking strengthens the mind. The strong mind of a powerful person has nothing to fear when challenged. A strong mind can come up with an answer for the people who challenge it – ‘CHECK YOURSELF!’ would be a good place to start.
On your journey to do better personally or on the job people are going to throw stones at you. Don’t worry about it; you are strong, you can bob and weave, and get out of the way. Yes, the stones they throw may be very big, and they may come from the most unlikely places, at the most untimely moments. But, don’t you stop climbing! Don’t you dare look back! Stay focused!
I recently had someone out of nowhere try to challenge me by throwing stones my way. The people that are throwing stones will be so intent on hitting you they may forget that what goes up must come down and the stones they are throwing up at you are going to come back down and hit them on the head. Just remember, You CAN take it and you WILL make It!
We (me included) are quick to judge other people. We judge their habits, the things they do, the food they eat, the clothing they wear, how they wear their hair, what they believe in and what they don’t believe in. Let’s face it, we judge people for all types of reasons and we make the judgement, not because we are bad people, but because their normal is not our normal.
When all the while we don’t stop to think that maybe something we do is not normal to those we judge. So, what is your normal? I feel our normal varies from individual to individual and not only that, but our normal is constantly shifting. If you think about something that was normal for you a few months ago or even a few years ago may no longer be your normal today.
Think about those times you’ve said “I could never do that” or “That is so crazy, how can that person do something like that.” For example: I am not a morning person, but because in the winter months I wanted to get home before the sun went down, each morning I got up at 4:30 a.m. to catch a 6:25 a.m. bus to get to work by 7:00 when that was totally not my normal in the past, but it became my new normal (at least for the winter months). Or think about someone that lived a very lavish lifestyle in a large home, nice cars and where money was no issue, they even had staff, and unfortunately they got down on their luck, having to dismiss the staff and move to a tiny apartment, and now has to take the bus. They would have to adapt to those changes, which is now their new normal.
As humans with survival instincts we have the ability to adapt to our environment. So, maybe if we all took a look at our lives and thought about a time in our lives when we had to adapt to a new situation in our life that has become our new normal we would be less quick to judge other people on what is normal for them.