Get to know YOU!
I know this guy who is a real womanizer. He has been married three times to three different women, each wife totally different from the other, the only thing anyone could say they had in common is that they fell for the same guy and married him. This guy, could not tolerate being alone, which is the reason he married so many times, because he has to have someone in his life. What caused each of his marriages to dissolve was his cheating with other women. I mean this dude could not be faithful if his life depended on it. His first marriage lasted the longest, which was almost eleven years, the second one only lasted maybe three and the third marriage lasted about one to two years, tops.
One would think after so many failed marriages that this dude would take a chill pill and take time to get to know who he is, especially before jumping into another relationship. Naw! Not this dude, he jumps right into another long term relationship, except this time he dodged the marriage bullet. Which is a good thing, since him and his new girl couldn’t get along if they were summoned to do so.
So, why am I telling you about this? Well, because most people do not have many relationships. They have one relationship with many people. The same drama and issues they have in one relationship are usually the same drama and issues they have in all relationships. It is all about changing your approach, which then you will see your behavior change as well.
When you find yourself in another relationship, with another person, doing the same things, feeling the same ways you did in other relationships, you are just dealing with some unfinished business with yourself. Meaning, there is something you need to see within yourself or something you need to learn about yourself that really has nothing to do with whom you are with.
That is why it is very important that you take a time out and get to the core of you. Try to figure out what it is about you that causes you to behave in such a way. Why are your relationships with others be it a mate, a sales clerk, your mama, your co-workers or even your best friend, being filled with conflict? Maybe it is time you get the hint and start to so some serious soul searching on what it is in your center core that needs some serious attention. Take some time to really figure out what it is you really want from a relationship and what you are willing to do to make a relationship work.
You may have thought that every relationship in your life was different from the other relationships, but if you start to look at what some of the hot spots and common behaviors in all your relationships are, then you can begin to examine yourself and what it is you are truly looking for and willing to give in a relationship. Start looking at the role you play in the difficulties of all of your relationships, agree to do the work needed that will help you to learn more about yourself, which will only help you really get to know YOU!