8 Ways You’re Making Your Life Harder Than It Has To Be
When we were young life was easier, right? I know sometimes it seems that way. But the truth is life still is easy. It always will be. The only difference is we’re older, and the older we get, the harder we make things for ourselves.
As we grew older our minds became gradually disillusioned by negative external influences. At some point we began to hesitate and question our instincts. When a new obstacle or growing pain arose, we stumbled and fell down. This happened several times. Eventually we decided we didn’t want to fall again, but rather than solving the problem that caused us to fall, we avoided it all together.
As a result, we ate comfort food and drank alcohol to numb our wounds and fill our voids. We worked late nights on purpose to avoid unresolved conflicts at home. We started holding grudges, playing mind games, and subtly deceiving others and ourselves to get ahead. And when it didn’t work out, we lived above our means, used lies to cover up lies, and ate and drank some more just to make ourselves feel better again.
Over the course of time, we made our lives harder and harder, and we started losing touch with who we really are and what we really need.
If you’re nodding your head, here are some ways you’re likely making your life harder than it has to be, and some ideas on simplifying things:
1.You look to everyone else for the answers only you can give yourself. – For much of our lives – especially at the beginning – we get told what do, how to think, what looks good, what “success” is, etc. You don’t have to buy into any of it anymore. Feel free to peel back the layers. Think for yourself. Listen to your Self. Break the mold. When you stop doing what everybody else wants you to do and start following your own intuition, you will find exactly what you are looking for.
2.You let others make you feel guilty for living your life. – As long as you’re not hurting anyone else, keep living your life YOUR way. Sometimes we get lost in trying to live for someone else, trying to meet their expectations, and doing things just to impress them. Take a moment and think about it. Are you doing things because you truly believe in them? Remember your own goals. Live, do and love so that you are happy, because when it comes down to it, relationships can end in an instant, but you will live with yourself for the rest of your life.
3.You allow toxic people to get the best of you. – You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, colleague, childhood friend or a new acquaintance. You don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.
4.You’re trying to compete with everyone else. – If you compete with everyone else, you will become bitter. If you compete with a previous version of yourself, you will become better. It’s as simple as that.
5.You have been too much of a taker. – One way to deal with stress and loss is to immerse yourself in doing good for others. Volunteer. Get involved in life. It doesn’t even have to be a big, structured event. Say a kind word. Encourage someone nearby. Pay a visit to someone who is alone. Get away from your self-preoccupation for a while. When it comes down to it, there are two types of people in this world. There are givers and there are takers. Givers are happy. Takers are still unhappily wondering what’s in it for them.
6.You focus on popularity over effectiveness. – Seek respect, not attention. It lasts longer and it’s far more useful in the end. Do things and build things that make a lasting difference. And above all, never confuse popularity with effectiveness. Being popular means you’re liked for a while. Being effective means you’ve made a difference.
7.You are stuck on your mistakes. – It’s important that we forgive ourselves for making mistakes. We need to learn from our errors and move forward. Make a pact with yourself today to not be defined by your past. Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your hard work isn’t what you get for it, but what you learn from it. A happy, successful life, after all, is not a life absent of problems, but one that’s been able to rise above them.
8.You’re letting loss devour you. – Sometimes you have to work at happiness. Some hurdles in life are too difficult to clear simply by adopting a positive mindset. Do you need to forgive someone? Do you need to let go of a failed relationship? Do you need to come to terms with the death of a loved one? Life is full of loss. But, in a sense, true happiness would not be possible without it. It helps us appreciate the good times. It helps us grow. If you’re struggling to see the light, you’re not alone. Find someone who understands and talk to them. Reach out for support. Don’t let loss devour you.
It’s when we come to realize that, yes at times we make our lives harder than it has to be; that we soon come to realize that “Aint Nobody Got Time for That!”