I Need Some Me Time

BEING ALONE1

“I can’t believe how stupid you are” (yelled Faye) after Ellis (while giving a toast) accidentally bumped their glasses a little too hard, causing some of his champagne to spill onto Faye’s dress. Ellis and Faye have been dating for 3 years now, and were out celebrating their three year anniversary. “You are the clumsiest person I have ever met” (screams Faye), “My dress is probably ruined!” “I don’t know why I put up with you” (Faye yells). “It was an accident, Faye” (says Ellis). “Why you always have to make such a big production out of everything?” “It’s not like I tried to ruin your dress on purpose.” Their waiter approaches the table, and then asks Ellis and Faye, if they were ready to place their orders? “I don’t think so, the night has been ruined by my stupid boyfriend, please bring the check.” Faye says.

Kayla and Darren have been shacking up playing house now for almost two years. Kayla use to be a very fun and outgoing young twenty-five year old that is until she met “King Darren.” That is what Kayla friends call Darren, due to his controlling behavior. Kayla and her friends no longer hangout like they use to, and when they do Darren has to tag along. Picture Tony Soprano Sr. from the show “The Sopranos” and that’s Darren. His passive-aggressive behavior, allows one to make a mistake so he can punish them later. He is extremely judgmental of everyone and everything. He creates meaningless rules just to wield power over Kayla, as well as his friends. If anyone even attempts to stand up to him the beast will come out causing major destruction to anyone and everyone, then he will justify his behavior as being the fault of the one who stood up to him. Kayla is terrified to say the least, but continues to stay in the relationship in hopes of a change in Darren, which deep down she knows will never come.

Why is it that so many people fear being alone? Why would you rather stay in a relationship or situation that is causing you pain or harm, than be alone?  Do you see something in yourself that makes you think it is better to be mistreated by someone than to be alone? Don’t you know that you can’t possibly be with anyone until you know how to be with alone with yourself? Being alone is not a bad thing. Actually, it is one of the best things you can do for yourself and for your future relationships. For when you are alone, it allows you time to really get to know yourself, your likes, dislikes, what you want in a partner, and what type of partner you want to be. Being alone allows you an opportunity to get in tune with your inner self. Your thoughts, your feelings, and it will allow you to feel all those things you thought you couldn’t feel because you were with someone else. Jumping into to a relationship just to avoid being alone is not the answer. Yet. there is nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship, we were created to be in relationships. However, it is damaging to never have any alone time with yourself. We all need that alone time to just sit quietly, and peacefully in our own thoughts without input from anyone else. Time to find that person you use to be, that you may have lost along the way. Even Jesus,  often took time away from the disciples and all the noise of the world, to just be alone with himself, his thoughts and his prayers, to get some clarity. If Jesus felt the need to get away, and find himself, what makes you think at some point in your life you need not do the same?

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3 Comments

  1. Personally I don`t like to be alone. I need someone to accompany me even to go to the supermarket, but… once I`ve learned about secret places where I`d like to come and keep silent and being accompanied by someone would be impossible to keep calm)))

    • Hi nice2beme, I am glad you found that secret place where you can go and be silent. We all need to be around others, after all that is why we are all here in the first place. But, we do need to have that quiet time alone as well. Thanks, for reading my post.

      • That`s true, Cheryl. We need to have time for the community and personal time for ourselves. Thank you for this post.

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