Moving Forward with Forgiveness
I am sure most can remember a time when you were afraid of what someone might say, that you could not do what you needed to do. You may have thought about how upset they would be; how you might hurt their feelings; or how angry they would be. You may also have thought you would lose their love or respect. So in fear you did nothing. It is ridiculous to say we should not be concerned about the way our actions affect others. It is, however, equally ridiculous to make ourselves miserable, hold ourselves back, deny our own truth, just to make someone else happy. Therefore, to ease the stress in this type of experience is to forgive the person before you do or say anything. Yes, forgive them ahead of time for being angry or upset with you. Forgive them for anything they may say toward you out of anger. Forgive them for not honoring your needs or your truth. Once you have forgiven them, say what you must say and do what you must do.
Forgiveness should keep the channels of communication open. It can eliminate the stress and clarify the truth. When you honestly forgive it keeps you from being upset or derailed by the words or actions of another. Since you have already imagined the worst and forgiven it; there is no way you can be hurt or shocked by their outcome. The most important part of forgiving from the start is the realization that you cannot lose anyone’s love. Either they love you and honestly want you happy or they don’t! When all is said and done, you must now forgive yourself for believing that what you must do for you means you cannot be loved for doing it.