Crabs in a Bucket
Giselle Prichard and Elise Weems have become close friends while working for a major advertising agency. Both women are real go-getters and were top in their game. Recently, Giselle was honored with the highest award one can receive in the field of advertising. She was excited of course and wanted to celebrate with her bestie Elise. However, Elise was not as excited about Giselle’s award and it first showed when she made an excuse why she could not go out to celebrate. As the days and weeks went on Giselle started to notice the distance between her and Elise. Every time Giselle would try to call her or speak to her while at work, Elise would either not return messages or while at work would state she is too busy to chit-chat and would brush Giselle off. This went on for about a month before Giselle figured out that Elise was envious of her winning the award. Elise even started false rumors and gossiping with other co-workers about Giselle. It got so ugly that Giselle finally realized that not everyone is going to be happy for her successes and the so-called friendship she once thought she had with Elise has run its course.
I think both envy and jealousy has shown its little head at some points in all our lives, either by you being envious of others or others being envious of you. You can usually detect the green eyed monster when you notice changed behavior within those you consider close to you like friends or family members. Have you ever noticed when things are not going so great for you, you get tons of support from others, but the moment you begin to be doing well and probably better than you ever were, those same supporters disappear, Poof, gone! This is because like it or not, some people just don’t like to see other people growing, doing better than them, or being happy in their lives. Envious people are happiest when bad things happen to others and sad when others are doing well.
Why is this you ask? Because those people are gauging their own self-worth externally based upon others, instead of having internal self-love and self-worth and being able to generate for themselves the things that they want in life so that they can be happy when other people succeed. That is why it is important that you make sure your relationships are equal. You don’t want to always be that person that bad things always happen to or are always down in the dumps. Because then you will always be around those people that are supporting those bad things happening to you. And as soon as you get out of that rut you were in, or you and you partner get back together those people will dump you like a hot potato or try to sabotage you to keep you down and in that low state.
It’s the classic crabs in the bucket. When one crap tries to claw their way out of the bucket you have others trying to pull them back down into the bucket with them. The crap can never get out of the bucket because the other crabs are constantly sabotaging their escape. This is just how life is. If you notice you are doing good and people are starting to be rude to you, or people are just rude toward you for no reason. That my dear is a clear cut sign that they are envious of you. If someone is envious of you, there is no way they are your true friend and cannot be your friend and it is also not okay for them to harbor envy toward you, but don’t allow that to stop you from fulfilling your goals.
Now, what if you are the one that is envious of another? There are those times when good things happen to other people when we wish it would happen to us. What do you do? You need to check yourself. You need to dig deep and see what parts of you need to be developed. Because envy shows what you lack and it shows how you feel about yourself more so than how you feel about anyone else.
So, if you feel yourself being envious of another person’s success or what another person has, then you need to repair yourself, love yourself, and talk yourself through that emotion and tell yourself that great things can happen to you too. Tell yourself “this is a great thing happening to that person, and great things can happen to me as well. I love hanging around people that have great things going on in their lives. I don’t need to gauge my worth based on another person’s success, my worth comes from within, there is no measure of my value, my worth comes regardless of what I have or what I do. I am a human being and there is no lack of my value and I don’t need to be envious.” Then show thankfulness and gratitude toward your friend. However, be careful of those that are envious of you, because they can make you start to feel bad about yourself, without you even knowing why.
You deserve to be loved and appreciated and not have people around you that wish bad upon you. Now go out there and claw your way out of the bucket by being around those people that support your goals, dreams, and success.