Dealing With Change

vulnerable 6

With the coming of spring, I am going to keep with a theme this week of change.

Change, what a powerful word that is. And you never realize how powerful the word is until change occurs. As a child, I had to deal with many changes. This caused me to be able to deal with change as I got older. I am not going to say that I have enjoyed all the changes in my life, but they all have made me the woman I am today, and I survived them all.

When I was seven my mom became paralyzed from the waist down. Now, that was a huge change in both our lives. Yet, with the love and help of others, we both survived that change. Then in my adult life my mom (like so many women) got breast cancer and since she was paralyzed and unable to get up and down to deal with the agony of what Chemo does to one’s body, they ended up removing one of her breast, as well as the cancer.  We both thanked God for that. And although that was yet another change she personally had to endure, at that time as an adult and a woman, I could totally imagine what she must have been going through physically as well as mentally. But, bless her soul, she survived that as well.

Then years later my mom had to endure another invader which was a big change in both our lives, as well as my children, and that was dementia. That was one change in my life I did not take to kindly to, and neither did my mom. Being an only child that was the change that really put the icing on the cake of my life. To see my mother struggle with her memory and to have all types of illusions was tough on me, never mind on her being frustrated because she could not express herself as she would normally do. Nor could she understand why she was struggling to remember. My mother was a very strong and feisty woman, who taught me to take up for myself and to never allow anyone to change me or my beliefs. Yet, to see the once feisty woman become this frustrated and confused individual was hard.

I remember when I first discovered something was not right with her. We were visiting her and she kept telling me that a man keeps looking at her through her window. Granted she was on the fourth floor, so in order for someone to peep through her window, they would need a tall ladder. So, we kept the curtains pulled to make her feel safe. For my own well being, I would constantly ask her if she knew who I was and other questions like her name, etc., which she would answer, but would be very frustrated from the grilling I was giving her. I don’t know what I would have done if she ever said she did not know who I was. I guess being her only child made that part easier for her.

Fast forward years later, yet another change happened. My mom had been taken to the hospital for stomach issues, which she constantly had due to drinking too much soda, where the acid was eating up the lining in her belly. I couldn’t stop her from drinking them for a very long time, she would have people sneak them into her and then I had to put my foot down. We had been out to visit her and the next day I was getting dressed to go back to the hospital and check on her, when before I could finish getting dressed I received a call from the hospital telling me my mother had gone into a coma. When I arrived at the hospital no one could give me answers to my questions which really had me on fire. I am not a violent person, but I am very protective of those I love and care about family or friends and that day and time I wanted to truly knock someone out!  I slept at the hospital and stayed by her side for days making sure no one touched or pulled a plug. She eventually passed away, but on her and Gods time, not theirs. There I was, once again being abandoned by circumstance, but this time I also felt very much alone.

Thank God that as a child I had others to help me through those changes, but at that moment it was all on me. My reason for sharing such personal information with you is so that you can see that, we all go through changes in life and some of those changes are good and some not so great, but we learn to deal with the changes as they arise and come out surviving and possibly stronger in the end. So, the next time you feel anxious or uncomfortable about a change happening in your life, remember that some changes in life we cannot control, but we can control how we adapt to the change. I hope this post help to encourage someone that may be going through changes in their life, and just remember to keep the faith, because that can help you get through anything that comes your way.

 

 

 

 

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2 Comments

  1. A lovely, heartfelt post, Cheryl, and one that I really appreciate at this particular time. Things are tough for us here at the moment and your words regarding accepting change have helped a lot. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. ❤

    • Thank you, Millie. I will continue to keep you and your family in my daily prayers.

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