(March 21st to April 19th)
Aries are HUGE babies when things don’t go their way. It’s not uncommon for them to throw super not-age-appropriate tantrums when someone doesn’t listen. Not only is this behavior way childish, it’s SO unappealing.
(April 20th to May 21st)
For someone who takes great pride in being so frugal and good with money, Taurus can be VERY materialistic. It’s cool to appreciate nice things and have refined taste, but it’s not cool to be consumed with it. Being so obsessed with how things look ironically makes them kind of ugly.
(May 22nd to June 21st)
Geminis are sooooo two-faced which makes them rather untrustworthy. It’s not like they always do it on purpose, but their ability to turn on a dime and suddenly be someone totally different freaks people out. It’s not necessarily an ugly trait, but it’s unsettling. That’s for sure.
(June 22nd to July 22nd)
You know the Kim Kardashian ugly crying meme? If you looked up Cancer in the dictionary, that’s the exact photo you’d see. Cancers are literally ugly criers. And cry about EVERYTHING.
(July 23rd to August 22nd)
Leos are egotists. Sure, it varies depending on the individual Leo. But bottom line, Leos LOVE being told how wonderful they are. And who wouldn’t? The ugliness comes into play when someone doesn’t give them the attention they so desperately crave. Nothing changes Leo’s fun, charming personality quicker than someone ignoring them. Yiiiiikes.
(August 23rd to September 22nd)
Virgos can be so, so judgmental to the point of it teetering into cruelty. Because they hold themselves to super high standards and expect everyone else to follow suit, they can be totally ruthless in making fun of someone. If you’re around a Virgo, there’s a 99.9% chance they are silently picking you apart.
(September 23rd to October 22nd)
In general, Libras are fairly easy to get along with. They are fair and kind. BUT they can be total slobs. They will gorge on fast food and overindulge. A Libra is definitely the one going through the Jack in the Box drive-thru at 2 am.
(October 23rd to November 22nd)
Scorpios are cold as ICE. They’ll chew you up and spit you out without even blinking.
(November 23rd to December 21st)
TOTALLY arrogant! Their confidence can quickly turn into pure narcissism and it becomes majorly intolerable. Nobody wants to be around someone so self-absorbed.
(December 22nd to January 20th)
Capricorns can be big snobs. They’ll turn their nose up at things they determine to be beneath them.
(January 21st to February 18th)
They are total weirdos. But not in a charming TV sitcom way. They’re just…off.
(February 19th to March 20th)
They are HUGE flakes. A Pisces is often so busy swimming around in their own dreamy, imaginary world that they totally forget about real plans they’ve made. They’ll cancel on you an hour before they’re supposed to show up. Or worse, sometimes they don’t even get back to you at all.
Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or something that is days old, there has to be respect involved. Yes, it’s true that being in a relationship calls for mutual respect and understanding, but at the core of it all, you must respect yourself.
There’s nothing more important than feeling good about yourself and whether you have a man in your life or not, you need to prioritize that. Remember that only once you respect yourself will he respect you back.
There have been horror stories of women letting their partners step all over them because they’re afraid of ending up alone. Hello, girlfriend! Wake up! There’s a whole world of men out there and if you think that the loser who’s pushing you around is your best option please think again. It all boils down to taking a look at yourself and evaluating your self-worth.
Let your voice be heard. Don’t let your man dictate the terms of your relationship. You’re not an animal to be strung along. Sure, relationships are all about compromise, but be sure that there is a balance and that it’s not just you doing all the compromising.
Spend time with your friends. Set aside several days a month for your friends. Whether it’s a one-on-one brunch with your bestie or cocktails on ladies night, be sure to respect yourself enough to nurture relationships other than the one that you share with your man.
Spend time alone. Besides spending time with your friends, you also have to carve out time to spend alone. Sometimes, all you need is a little space to clear your head and center yourself. Don’t let anyone intrude on your private time. If you can’t disappear for a day, take over the living room for several hours and do your own thing. Don’t let him venture in until you’re ready.
Be independent. Respect yourself enough to make your own money and decisions. Set personal goals, have your own circle of friends and take the liberty to be an independent woman. You’ll find that the more independent you are, the more respect your man will have for you. Despite what you may have heard, men like a woman that has her own thing going on, not one that clings to them like a pair of static socks.
Make time for your hobbies. A problem that most women face when they enter into a relationship is that they don’t have enough time to do things for themselves. Whether it’s sitting at a café alone to people watch, doing arts and crafts, spending the afternoon getting your nails and eyebrows done, don’t neglect the things you enjoy doing just because you have a man to ‘look after.’
Don’t do something you don’t want to. Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable doing. Of course, with that being said, don’t restrict yourself to your bubble and be sure to try new things that he wants to introduce you to.
Partake in healthy activities that will improve your overall well-being. Examples include mountain biking, rock climbing, jazz lessons and anything else fun and positive that you never thought you would try.
Set down rules. Another way to respect yourself in a relationship is to set down some ground rules. Of course, there’s no need to set anything in stone but be sure that both parties are aware of the dos and don’ts. For example, be clear about the consequences of infidelity and highlight how important it is to practice mutual respect for one another. Let him have his say and be sure to have yours.
Look good. Another way to respect yourself in a relationship is to never let yourself go. Take pride in looking good not just for your man but for yourself. The same steps you took to get him are the same ones you should take to keep him and the same goes for him.
Forgive yourself. If you did something wrong, forgive yourself and move on. Don’t overburden yourself with guilt because, at the end of the day, it’s easier to forget than to dwell on it.
For example, Maddy’s boyfriend entrusted her to care for his pet iguana when he was out of town. Sadly, she overfed it and it died 3 days in. Although he eventually forgave her, Maddy still hasn’t forgiven herself. It has been 5 years since that dreadful reptilian incident. Do you see the point in not letting go? I sure don’t. Respect yourself enough to forgive your past grievances.
Accept who you are. No matter what, don’t let your man try to change you unless of course, it’s to become a better person. If you truly believe in something, don’t let love sway you. If you love doing something, don’t let him stop you.
For example, Alexis, a devout Christian, is dating David, a staunch Atheist. I have no idea how they managed to make their relationship work for 8 years but the point is that they did despite their core differences. According to Alexis, “He never tried to force feed his beliefs onto me and I never did it to him. We respect each other’s beliefs and that’s what makes us work
Stop comparing your relationship. I know someone who got dumped soon after she made the move out of state to be with a man she only knew for 5 months. Her Facebook updates were all rainbows and butterflies but those who knew herI knew she was dying inside. The thing is, she displayed a deliriously happy image of herself and her relationship to the whole world that anyone who didn’t know the real story would undoubtedly be jealous.
The moral of the story is to respect yourself enough to be happy with what you have. Don’t compare your relationship to someone else’s. You don’t know what lies behind those cleverly filtered Instagram photos and happy-go-lucky status updates.
Don’t regret your decisions. Stick to the choices you made and roll with it. There’s no point looking back and regretting every little thing you did. Your life is as shitty or as awesome as it is because of the choices that you made. Don’t regret anything that happened and respect yourself enough to know that you can improve things if you tried.
Follow your heart. No matter what you think, respect and honesty go hand in hand. Respect yourself enough to listen to your inner voice. If your heart is telling you to take time off from your relationship, do it. If it’s telling you to take the next step, do it. If it’s telling you he’s cheating, investigate. If it’s telling you to try harder, do it.
Constantly make room for improvement. No matter how awesome you think you are, there’s always room for improvement. You should take active steps to be better at everything you do. From being a better listener to being a better cook, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to become a better version of yourself. It’s a definite indicator that you respect yourself enough to try.
Practice effective communication. Another way that you can respect yourself in a relationship is to effectively communicate with your partner. Don’t take it upon yourself to keep things pent up inside and assume that you’ll work everything out on your own. Share your troubles, fears, joys and anything else you feel with your man.
Know your worth. Never underestimate your worth and never be bullied into submission. Fight for your rights and be sure that he treats and appreciates you the way you deserve. Respect yourself enough to ditch him if he doesn’t.
Always listen to that inner voice of reason in your head. It’s your soul telling you what to do next. Respect yourself enough to pay attention to it and you will find that your relationship will be better than ever.
If your man can’t accept the new and improved you, then it’s a clear sign that you can do better. Never paint yourself into a corner when you have a world of opportunities *and men* out there waiting for you.
And most importantly, remember this. If you don’t respect yourself in the relationship, why should he?
- Caring about what others think – You will be much happier if you stop worrying about what others think of you. If they are your loved one and they have your best interest at heart that is one thing. But everybody else who cares what they think. They are not going through what you are going through, they are not supplying your paycheck, paying your bills, cleaning your house or cooking for you, so you should not worry about what others think about you. If you are doing something that makes you happy and you are not harming anyone or doing anything illegal, if it makes you happy who cares what people think about it. Maybe you are into certain trends and you want to wear pink hair, wear your makeup a certain way, that is your business and if it makes you happy then do it, you will be a much happier person.
- Pleasantries – Pleasantries are anything but pleasant. I don’t need to go out of my way to be friendly to somebody I don’t care for. That I can never ever do. This is not to say I won’t be polite and respectful, but I will never hang out with someone I am not fond of nor will I go the extra mile for such person. Pleasantries that are not truly pleasant why do them? They take up way too much energy. If you work with people you don’t like in the workplace you can still be polite and say good morning and remain professional, but you don’t need to be their friend. Everyone will not like you and you won’t like everyone. The world will still spin if you are not friends, and you will be happier and most importantly you will remain true to yourself.
- Drama – Avoid and stay away from the drama around you. The drama can be your friend’s drama, your family’s drama, your co-workers’ drama. Drama is not good at all and it takes up so much energy. It brings negative vibes into your life and it drains the heck out of you. If you feel yourself getting sucked into others drama think of this great quote: “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” It will work every time. It is easy to get caught up in other people’s drama. It takes up a lot of energy and it is not worth it, so stay away from it.
- Frienemies – These are the people that are your friends, but not really your friends because they secretly want to see you fail. These are also the joy-killers. Like if you share an idea about something with them they will have negative things to say about your idea. They are not your friends, your true friends will cheer you on and support your idea and if your idea does happen to fail they will be there to cheer you up and they will also be there when you try again and start from scratch. Spring is here so it is a great time to spring clean those toxic friends from your life and be around those that truly care about you and support you and you feel the same about them. Trust me you will feel much better.
- Being Perfect – Stop being scared of things not being perfect and of making mistakes. Things will not always be perfect and you will make a mistake that is a fact of life. However, you can learn from your mistakes and you can improve so things can get closer to being perfect with time. People who are scared of not being perfect or of making mistakes, they are not really doing things because the fear of not being perfect is paralyzing. If you can push past trying to be perfect and just go for it and if you make a mistake so what start over if it is not perfect it will be better next time, but the bottom line is you’re doing it and you are moving in the direction of bettering yourself. Think of all the most successful people you hear about or even know who have made mistakes and look at where they are now. So take the fear and let it be what motivates you and gives you strength.
- Jealous of Others – Stop being jealous of other people lives. Be it material items or just their life in general. They are living their life, live yours. They are doing their thing and you need to do yours. You don’t have time to focus on other people’s lives. Don’t worry about how much money someone spent on their car, home or clothing. If you are jealous of where you think they are in life, you will get there one day. Focus on what you need to do with your life. Use that negative jealousy as a motivator to push you forward in your own life.
- Stop trying to be like everyone else – Unless you are one who enjoys following the latest trends and you like to fit in that way then okay, but if you are trying to be like others just to fit in with your friends because otherwise, they would not hang out with you. Then guess what boo, they are not your true friends, because your true friends would like you no matter what. Let’s be real you will never be happy trying to be something or someone you’re not because you can only keep up the fake persona for so long. It will make you miserable to the point you will start losing yourself. So, make it easier on yourself by just being yourself.
- Stop defining yourself by your age – Age is just a number. Don’t define who you are based on how old you are. If you want to take a risk at 80 years old and go skydiving, then do it. If you’re 60 but enjoy dressing in the latest fashion trends, yet in a tasteful manner then who cares? Do you! If you want to experiment with different hair styles and makeup looks regardless of your age if it makes you feel good about yourself then by all means do it. We have allowed society to dictate what we should be doing in life based on our age which is a bunch of cow poop! Stop putting borders on your life by thinking once you reach a certain age you aren’t allowed to do certain things. That is so not true. Forget about what others may think about your decisions, you only live once so live your life and if there is something you want to do that makes you happy then do it regardless of your age.
- Measuring worth – News flash! Your Instagram following should not be a way for you to measure your worth. And don’t think because you have long silky hair, white chiclet teeth, or have the body mass of a toothpick determines your worth. You are worth so much more because you are a caring person, a kind person, a good person, a loving person, you have great ideas, you’re outspoken, your smart and you’re pretty in so many different ways. Now, if your looks and your Instagram following are what turns you on, that is fine, if it makes you feel better about yourself but don’t think that those superficial things are your worth as a person because it isn’t.
- Live your own life – This is the final number and it is something you should allow and do in your life. And that is to live your own life. Do those things that make you happy. Take risks and enjoy your life. Don’t just exist, live. Be kind, be respectful and let’s stop judging each other because we all are battling with something in our life and we never know what someone is going through. Only put out good vibes and good vibes will come back to you.
Everybody has their moments when they’re feeling down in the dumps. It’s your job to get yourself out of that hole and get the positive vibes going.
You want to get out of that rut you’re in. However, once you’ve been down in the dumps, it can sometimes be hard to pull yourself out of it. This is where you need to focus on bringing back the positive vibes you’ve lost. What this means is that you’ll need to focus on yourself. But how do you do this?
Accept that you’re not where you want to be. Finally, accept the fact that where you are in your life is not where you want to be.
We all complain that we should be doing this or that, but honestly, how many of us actually make a change? If you’re not happy, accept it. Now, change it
Know what you want and need. This is really hard to do because most of us don’t know what we want or need. But how about you start with the things you don’t want. You may find it easier to then see the things you appreciate and value. If you know what you want and need, focus your energy on achieving it.
Switch your focus. If you want to attract positive energy, you’re going to have to change the way you look at things. Now, I’m not saying you’re a Debbie Downer, but, you probably don’t see the glass half full most of the time. It’s time to change that.
You’re going to experience a crappy situation, that’s a part of life, but are you going to take it as a negative experience or as a learning lesson?
Get spiritual. Now, you don’t have to start believing in god or become a Buddhist, that’s not what this is about. However, you should understand that everything is made of energy. So, acknowledge that we are not the highest form of energy. You can view this in a spiritual or religious way. For example: Maybe you view Mother Earth as something greater than yourself.
Be honest with yourself. Being honest with yourself means coming forward and acknowledging who you really are as a person. It’s not easy. You may realize that in many situations you’ve been a complete jerk or that you’re not as good of a friend as you think.
However, by really looking within, you’ll be able to make changes that make you a better person and attract positive vibes.
Start breathing! We’re so busy running around and getting distracted that we forget to breathe. Okay, I mean, we breathe or else we’d all be dead, but what I mean is, we need to sit down and really breathe.
Take deep breaths in and out, focusing on your body. It’s all about relaxing the mind and body to allow positivity to cultivate within. I know this may sound like hippie stuff, but it works.
Laugh. Laughing is so important for cultivating positive vibes. It’s the moment where you feel true joy. If something’s funny, laugh. Who knows, maybe you’ll make an entire group of people join in because laughing is contagious. So, spread the love by giving out a laugh.
Recycle positivity back to your community. If you want to receive positive energy, you need to give out positive energy. So, compliment someone you see or help an old lady cross the street. If you recycle positive energy back out to your community, not only will you feel good, but you make other people aware of the power of positivity.
Let go. You need to let go. I know, it’s really hard, and it’s going to take you some time to be able to. However, you have to do it. Let go if you want to attract positive vibes. You have no control over anything except your reactions. This is just something you need to accept.
Visualize a positive life. Every day we’re burdened with negative thoughts. You won’t get that job promotion, you’re not smart enough, not thin enough—they’re constant. But to break this cycle, spend more time visualizing yourself having a positive life.
Be aware of the ego. The ego is a dangerous thing and holds a lot of power over you when you let it. To be aware of your ego, you need to be fully conscious of what you’re doing. How you feel, your actions, and your thoughts. It’s going to be a challenge, and it’ll be tiring. However, it’ll help you relax and feel the positivity.
Get out in nature. Nature has an amazing power to relaxing the human mind. If you really want to be positive, you’re going to have to relax. Sure, you can go to a fancy spa or the gym, but you can also just take a walk through the woods or sit by a lake. Being with nature is a form of meditation.
Learn gratefulness. Gratefulness is one of the most important things you can practice. Though there may be struggles in your life, acknowledge the positive in your life as well. Maybe you have children, an amazing partner, or good health. These are things you should be grateful for.
Let emotions flow through you. Sometimes, we have a tendency to bundle up all our emotions, and then one day when you’re on the bus and somebody accidentally elbows you, you snap.
Instead, allow yourself to feel the emotions you’re feeling. You’re feeling them for a reason. If you need to cry, cry. If you want to laugh, laugh. Okay, sometimes you won’t be able to release your emotions. But take some time at the end of the day to reflect on them.
Use your creative side. You cannot believe the positivity that can be created from making something with your two hands. It’s an achievement and allows you to unlock emotions, putting them into something positive. Join a painting class or try songwriting. Whatever it is, it acts as a way for you to emotionally relieve yourself and connect.
Clean up. Clean your house, go through all the paperwork that’s lying around, clean your bathroom, declutter your closet, and get a haircut. Clean it all up. When you do this, you automatically feel lighter, and now you have a space that’s bright and spacious. If you’re living in a mess, your mind’s in a mess. How can you let positive energy in?
Put a spin on negative situations. Obviously, there have been situations where you think your life is coming to an end, and that you’ve really screwed up. We’re only human. But, what you need to do is start looking at these negative situations as a lesson to be learned. Because that’s what these are, learning lessons.
Science shows even small doses of toxic people can do major damage to your life.
- Gossip mongers – Watch out for those types who deliberately tear other people down. One day they will tear you down too. Steer clear of those people that want to know every single thing about your life and others’ lives, just to gossip about it.
- Conversation hogs – Those people who talk a lot about themselves but who don’t show an equal, genuine interest in hearing from you about yourself. They can include a friend who is always looking for advice but never asks you about your own life, the showboat that gets a thrill out of endlessly relating his latest adventures, or the well-meaning acquaintance who can’t seem to maintain a conversation about anything other than her therapist. Avoid these types and don’t feel guilty about it. These types of people would be satisfied to perform in front of anybody.
- The hopelessly self-destructive – If someone refuses to take responsibility for their terrible choices, their drama will infect your life and sap your energy. Not to say you should shun anyone with bad habits, but there are some people who become defensive, combative, and full of excuses when you point out obvious, severe lapse in judgment in your attempt to help them…if having to provide support for people who act this way causes you stress and never-ending frustration, it’s best to stay away because they have no intention of growing as people.
- Walking Selfies – These are the “shiny people” – they always look polished on the outside, but their real personality doesn’t match their exterior. “Honesty is a shiny person’s biggest fear. They don’t want you to know them. They want you to know the filtered, curated, guarded version you see every day.” Who has time for that?
- Green-eyed monsters – If someone needs to minimize your strengths and achievements to make themselves feel better, you don’t need them in your life. Stay away from people who don’t know how to appreciate your hard work and can’t rejoice in your accomplishments. True friends are genuinely happy for your good fortune. They don’t try to diminish it with negative reactions or make you feel guilty for sharing your happiness.
- The “calm down” crew – Yes it is possible to be overdramatic about minor issues, but you’re not going to get much benefit out of a relationship if the other parties tell you you’re just being oversensitive. Avoid a person who tells others to “Calm down”. Most people that tell others to calm down often feel they are rational adults and that whoever they’re talking to is behaving like a child. Whatever problem anyone is having –no matter how small it may seem to others it could be a real problem for them. And something that is making that person unhappy. Don’t allow others to belittle your feelings.
- Mother hen – that friend who feels they need to mother you as if you were one of their children. If you are in the car with them they feel the need to tell you to “lock your door,” or if you’re out shopping they ask “did you bring enough money?” If it is raining they say “don’t forget your umbrella.” They act as if you just came out of the birth canal. These types can be annoying to the fact that it can become toxic.
Beyoncé has a song on her fourth album entitled: “I Was Here” where she sings her heart out about leaving a mark in the world as proof she was here. Well, you can do the same thing. I don’t mean you can sing a song like Beyoncé or maybe you can, but you can also say, you were here. You can leave your mark in this world as well. You lived, you loved and I am pretty sure at some point you have helped or touched someone along the way.
Why else do you think you are here? You were placed here on purpose for a purpose so that you can leave your mark on the world as well. You don’t have to be a great R & B singer or movie star, no just being who you are will do just fine. You were given talents and special skills to do what it is you were placed here to do. I know some of you may not quite know what that is yet, but if you took some time to yourself, all alone and just think about what it is that you really, really, I mean really enjoy or what you are really good at that no one else is, then I believe you will find your purpose or if you prefer to call it “your reason” for being. None of us were mistakes, and I can’t stand to hear it when someone says that their child was a mistake. If you were given life, then you were meant to be here. We were all given certain skill sets to share with others. Granted some of us may have the same job or tasks, but you will be the only one that can do it like you do. You have the ability to handle the same job or task in your own special way, with your special skill set which was given to you and only you.
For example – there must be thousands of people working in the customer service field, yet although they may have the same job title or task, they all have that something extra special that they do that no one else does for the customers. Maybe, one is good at listening and knows how to calm those customers with complaints. Or one is good at telling funny stories that always seem to put a customer in a good mood. Maybe another knows the names and likes and dislikes of all the customers which make the customers feel special. I don’t know what specialty you may have in whatever it is you do, but I know we all have something we specialize in. I think if we believe in what we do and pay attention to what we and do and how we do it, we can figure out our purpose or reason for being here.
The message here is to take those things that you are good at, and it they don’t seem to be working for you at the moment then refocus until it does work for you. You were placed here on purpose, for a purpose and to serve a purpose. If you are one of those people that are always talking down to yourself or feel like you have nothing to offer to others, please stop the negative self-talks and don’t allow any negative talk of you from others interfere or get under your skin. All you need to remember is that you were born for a reason, given special skills for a reason and regardless of what anyone says or thinks about you, the truth is at the end of it all…YOU WERE HERE!